Quitting

"I quit!" I said as I sobbed to Matthew late Saturday night.

Earlier that evening we went on a super fun double date out to Red Robin and "Life of Pi" in 3D at the cheap movie theater. It was totally fun, except for the food surprise at Red Robin. Matthew and I always share the fresh hummus platter and a burger. We ordered a smaller burger in order to cut back calories. It was delicious and a good choice. However, the hummus platter with roasted zucchini, cucumbers, foccacia triangles, jicama, carrots and a bowl of hummus, had been changed. The waiter set before us hummus, carrots, cucumbers....and fancy potato chips. What? What happened to all the fresh veggies!? It had changed! We decided to give it a try, but were disappointed and knew it was more calories than our old platter. I didn't eat much of it, and ended up filling the sadness with french fries and ranch dressing. I went almost 800 calories OVER budget, and felt sick, full and sad. It didn't really hit me until bedtime, since that is the best time to have a meltdown. This is when I felt overwhelmed, sick, and like a failure.

Going over budget on food that makes you feel full and bloated is not the way to go. After I cried, Matthew simply reminded me that tomorrow is a new day and I have come too far to just give up. I composed myself and decided I would revisit the issue after a good sleep.

Sunday morning, we did start again. We went for a 2 mile run, which didn't feel too bad! I did my fastest mile so far (this month) and finished with a short sprint. I stayed under budget on my calories and was able to enjoy some pink jelly beans too!

I stayed under budget on Monday by staving off hunger with snacking on a banana and juicer juice between meals.

Tuesday, Matthew had the day off so we went for a 2.35 mile run through a fancy neighborhood in town.

We then ate a snack and did weight lifting at our apartment's gym. I started off being disappointed that there were only 5 lb and 10 lb weights...no 8 lb weights! I decided to start with the 5 lbs and see how I did. Psh. I am so weak. I was struggling through most of the exercises with 5 lbs. I couldn't even do a full set of lat raises...I needed 3 lb weights for those. So I did the exercises I could, 3 sets of 15 reps working my full body. We felt great afterwards and I had TONS of calories for the end of the day! I was able to enjoy a soy chai from Starbucks and ONE (had to use restraint) ONE homemade chocolate chip cookie at a friend's house. Stayed under budget again!

Today....I can hardly move. My back is so tight and my legs are super stiff. It is getting worse through the day and I start my 4 day work stretch tomorrow. Oh boy...

Today I only went a few calories over budget....so far...because I am trying to ignore my hunger pains as I am typing this. I ate too early. But I will make it through! With distraction and going to bed early.

So, I didn't quit. I quit for a moment in my mind, but pressed the reset button the next morning. And that's perfectly fine with me. Because every day is a new choice. No game overs here but rather unlimited lives like the special cheater codes in some video games.

So DON'T QUIT! Start again...each and every day! Have those melt downs, compose yourself and get back up stronger than before!