So these past few days I was lazy and unmotivated. I ate pizza and didn't have to count it in my calorie log. It was rather nice, and yet I was saddened by my lack of discipline and the possibility that I would really throw away all the hard work and progress I had made.
So I searched for some motivation. I read all my past blog posts to see why I started in the first place. I loved my determination and was also able to see all the ups and downs I have had through this process. And those won't go away. I will never be completely motivated or excited to work hard every day, but sometimes you just need to do it anyway.
"though exercise and staying in shape require a lot of work and even regular pain, not being in shape requires its own pains and labors. If I'm going to hurt in this fallen world...I'd rather hurt and be sore getting in shape than hurt and be sore because my body isn't fit." Gary Thomas, Every Body Matters
So I started back on track on Monday. I counted calories and stayed under budget. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and did this killer arm work out.
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| Do it here |
Tuesdays are my weigh in day...but I wasn't able to do it today.
Why?
Because my husband threw away our scale.
He said, "it is wrong and has brought sadness."
So he threw it in the garbage. I didn't know what to do and was shocked that he would throw it away, just like that! And yet, I loved what he showed me through this action. First of all, I need an ACCURATE scale to show me my progress. Secondly, I can't solely base everything off numbers since they CAN change based on water, meals, hormones, etc.
New plan. Get an accurate scale and weigh myself once a month instead of every week. If I am making progress, this should be seen no matter the day's circumstances.
So although I am not super stoked to get my butt kicked during workouts and be super disciplined, I know it is what I need to do. It is the right thing, it is my goal and I need to stick to it and see it through. I would rather deal with this pain than the pain and sadness I feel when I am tired, out of shape and can't fit into my cute outfits. And I truly believe I will be more effective if I am fit and healthy: a better nurse, better wife, better able to serve and a better mom in the future. So here I start again...whether I feel like it or not, I'm doing it.
Oh I love that Matthew did that. He loves you so much!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's a good idea to throw away the scale for a while and rely on how you feel and how your clothes fit. :) Just remember that when you look for an "accurate scale", it will ONLY tell you your weight at that time. It will not tell you to be proud that you've gained more muscle, it will not tell you that you've increased the endorphins in your neuro-network, it will not tell you what you are worth to God (or spouse or family or friends), it will not tell you that you were grateful today, it will not tell you that your heart is healthy, it will not tell you if you have a healthy flush to your skin, or are consuming enough calcium for your bones to store up, etc.
That's the lesson I've had to learn. Your weight is only helpful to know if looked at objectively. And objectively, it only tells you one thing out of the MANY things out there that are indicative of a healthy lifestyle. But since it's the easiest thing to measure, it's the thing we tend to obsess over.
I love your determination. You find something good and cling onto it.
Love you,
Lindsay